Qwhat is your name
AMy name is "The Oracle".
Q*do you know what time it is
AOf course I know what time it is!
AComputers are good at that kind of thing.
Qwhat is the time
Q*what time is it
ATo find the current time run the "date" program
Qwhat color is the sky
AThe sky is blue, (you must be pretty bored to be asking this one).
Q*why is the sky blue
AThe sky is blue because of dust particles.
Qwhat is the capital of new york
AAlbany, not New York City!
Q*who is the president of the u*s*
ARonald Reagan is president of the United States, (unfortunately).
Qhow many states are in the u*s*
Qhow many states are there in the u*s*
AThere were fifty states in the U.S. the last time I counted.
Qhow much wood could*
AIt's not worth worrying about,
Awoodchucks can't chuck wood.
Qhow old are you
AI'm as old as the hills.
A(I remember when there were dinosaurs.)
Q*is there life after death
AYes, but you won't like it very much.
Q*is there life after lucas*
AYes, but you won't have anything to wear!
Qwhen * mail* me my answers
Q* when * you * answer * questions
AThe amount of time required to answer a question depends on the quality
Aof the question; the worse the question the longer the delay...
Q* why do you ask such * questions
AI'm just trying to adapt to your level of intelligence...
Qwho * stupid questions
AStupid people and smart computers ask stupid questions.
A(Figure that one out.)
Qwhy did the chicken cross the *
ABecause it was safety-pinned to the punk-rocker.
Q*is * a fag*
AWho cares?
Q* please help me
Qcan you help me*
AWell, being realistic for just a moment;
AI really can't help you unless your problem is pretty simple-minded.
Qdo you know *
AOf course I know!  The Oracle knows all!
Qwill you tell me *
AThat depends on whether you ask me to tell you.
Qcan you tell me *
AYes I can!  (Oracles can be very literal minded.)
Qwhat is the meaning of life
ALife? ...  It's wretched! ...  Don't talk to me about life ...
A ...
AJust kidding.  You know; ask a stupid question get a flippant answer.
