

       THE FUND RASING PROBLEMS OF FATHER MURPHY



Father Murphy, a priest in a very poor parish, inquired for

suggestions on how he could raise money for his church.  He

was told that race horse owners always had money, so he went

to a horse auction.  He made a poor buy and the horse he

bought turned out to be a donkey.  He thought however, he

should still enter his donkey in a race.  The donkey came in

third and the next morning the headlines in the paper read

.....Father Murphy's Ass Shows.  The Archbishop was very

displeased, but the donkey came in first the next day and

the headlines read .....Father Murphy's Ass now in front.

The Archbishop was now up in arms and decided something had to

be done.  However, the Father entered the donkey again and

it came in second.  Now the headlines read, Father Murphy's

Ass Back In Place.  This was too much for the Archbishop,

so he forbade the priest to enter the donkey the next day

.....which inspired the editor to write.....Archbishop

scratches Father Murphy's Ass.  When the Archbishop

read this, he ordered Father Murphy to get rid of

the donkey.  He didn't want to sell it so he gave the animal

to Sister Agatha for a pet.  The next day, the headlines

read .....Nun Owns Best Ass in Town.  The archbishop ordered

Sister Agatha to sell the animal..... which she did..... but

the headlines the next day read .....Sister Agatha peddles

Her Ass for Ten Dollars.  They burried the poor Archbishop

three days later.

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