REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T...
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     Real programmers don't write specs. Users should consider 
themselves lucky to get any programs at all and should take what 
they get.

     Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to 
write, it should be hard to understand.

     Real programmers don't write application programs; they 
program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is 
for feebs who can't do system programming.

     Real programmers don't eat quiche. They eat Twinkies and 
Szechwan food.

     Real programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy 
applications programmers.

     Real programmers' programs never work right the first time. 
But if you throw them on the machine, they can be patched into 
submission in "only a few" 30 hour debugging sessions.

     Real programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe 
stress and crystallography freaks.

     Real programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers 
are around at 9am, it's because they were up all night.

     Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no 
programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12.

     Real programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers 
who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

     Real programmers don't play tennis or any other sport that 
requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real 
programmers wear their climbing boots to work, in case a mountain 
should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.

     Real programmers don't document. Documentation is for 
dummies who can't read the listings or the object deck.

     Real programmers don't write in Pascal, BLISS, Ada, or any 
of those commi-pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is 
for people with weak memories.

     This is from the Boring Employee Computer Society.
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